heart shattered

ME: I really like you , and i think i have a "crush" on you...
TOM: Lol
ME: No, not lol.
TOM: yeah, everyone has a crush on me.

Tom likes Thuy and Tammy, and he doesn't like like Ruth, but he plays mean jokes and makes me think he's going out with her, that's just disgusting, but anywho... he likes them, I like him, but that feeling will cease and disist, because now I'm only his freind buddy...

It's so upseting, he's so pretty and nice, and awesome, but I guess by being a good friend, I should support his decisions. i'd do anything for tom, even take a bullet for him, he respects, and is so nice to everyone. he's like... a mini-god, no, bad comparison, the perfect guy.. .there we go. haha, but no one would ever, in their million year life (if, they live that long) like me, in anyway, i'm a slow, stupid, retarded, retard. smart rather, but dispicable, hmm. wait, scary, yup that's one word that describes me, i like, scare little kids off.

you don't know how bad i feel now, cause i think i freaked tom out, by tellling him that i liked him.

I hope that didn't kill our friend buddy relatonship, or in other words, our friendship...

it pains me to be away from him, but i can NEVER look him striaght in the eyes, i go speechless around him, try to play it off cool, but doesn't work...

but i have to get over it, nothing ever happened, nothing ever will, and i will continually post eminding myself that fact...